skittles

costomer: so how have you been
scottie: oh just sitting on a rainbow......shitting skittles......would you like to taste the rainbow?

6-12-2008 At a bar drinking with my SPAWAR customer

Customer: I had crab cakes last night at Southend Brewery. I can't find good crabs in San Diego.
Bruce: You aren't sleeping with the right girls.

Jeremy, while on the Edisto...

I'll double her entendre...

A Zach Dunlap classic

"You have a cow with boots. That's awesome."

Good one from the road trip

"That girl is cruising for a raping."

5-19-2008 On why boobs are important

You can't motor-boat a personality

5-18-2008

Scott says, "Bruce, putting on the "Notebook" is a sure way of not only having a foot in the door with the chick, but having a penis in the door."

4-11-2008

Playing circle of death a "J" was pulled for never have I ever. The never have I ever was, never have I ever given or received anal sex. It gets to the girl and she drinks and everyone is on the edge of their seat waiting for the story and she says, "I've had anal sex big freaking deal."

S and the finer points of dating...

S: ...so we've been kinda "talkin" for a while, and never actually went on a date, so I took her to this nice restaurant and....
C: so you wined her, dined her, and THEN sixty-nined her?

Summer of 2006 at the Griffon

Dick: "When do you get back from Japan?"
Chas: "When I complete my ninja training."

10-31-06

Bruce: So this chick smells my cologne and she says, "What do you have on?" I replied with, "A hard-on!"